Entries Tagged 'Self Inflicted' ↓

Did you hear the one about Marise Myrand?

She’s the 400 pounder Quebecois who was too fat to get from her parking space to her apartment. She asked for her neighbours spot and was promptly rejected sparking a row between them. The situation only gets better: The condo board hilariously accuses her of using her handicap for personal benefit, Myrand reacts with a human rights complaint and lawsuit to the tune of ten grand and the rest writes itself. Guess who wins?  Now we’re primed for an appeal on the basis that the neighbour “is in her 60s and has a dislocated shoulder.”  So its old and frail vs. morbidly obese!

The whole thing smacks of the Seinfeld episode where George is trying to get the apartment from the old guy that survived the shipwreck.

The headline reads:  Man killed by urinating on downed wire after crash

Pimentel says Messenger apparently urinated into a roadside ditch but didn’t see the live wire. The urine stream likely served as a conductor, allowing the electricity to reach his body.

 This guy left quite a legacy with the wrecked car, damaged infrastructure and burned genitals. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at his funeral though!

This is what happens when your spine implodes under the pressure

I think a better way to handle the situation would be to let him walk around with the chair stuck to his head all day.  That way he can go home to his parents and remind them how much more ashamed they should be.

Okay I understand the sentiment behind this, but you figure he would have had the tattoo artist draw it out first.  And if he did?  Wow.

We need more honest cops on the force like this guy…

I saw this parked out front of my work and had to get a shot of it.

If you can think of a better way to spend $1000 on a $10 car, I’d like to hear it.